Happy or Unhappy ME

Sometimes I become very unsatisfied with myself. Most of these times when I think about my past, I feel embarrassed, as if I have made intolerable mistakes or unacceptable decisions. As long as I know, comparing to many of guys in my generation, I am considered successful. By objectively looking at my case, one can easily conclude, “This man should be one of those happy ones!”. But I cannot look at myself objectively. I am encircled in my subjectivism, my judgment of myself cannot be impartial, I am inside me and my eyes are MY eyes!

There are other moments that I am OK, if I can call it like this. Life looks nice and I am a happy successful person again. I feel I am motivated enough to change my whole life, ready for all kinds of challenges. The “happy ME”, renowned member of the “happiness club”!

Again there are times that I am neither this nor that. I ask myself where is the real ME? Is it really possible to judge myself impartially? Is it possible to look at oneself without biases and misleading mental heuristics? I wonder which ME is the most real one? Moreover I always wonder which ME is the most useful one? I know that the meanings of terms such as “reality” and “usefulness” are highly subjective, depending on WHO is defining them. But there must be some tangible ways to evaluate subjectively ones happiness and the degree of satisfaction from life.


September 16, 2006 - Posted by | Life, Personal

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